Gruff Hollywood insider announces fund raising drive for the American Heart Association.
Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB) January 24, 2007 -- D.L. White has been called many things in his life, but earning the 'heartless' title struck a nerve. So he decided to do something to 'clean up' his image.During an argument with his girlfriend, the longtime editor, director and recent author of "Acting in the Real World: The Film Professional's Guidebook to the Job of Acting" (www.actorsconcentration.com) found himself on the receiving end of the disparaging 'heartless' comment. "I had just made what I thought to be an off-hand remark about a movie," he recalled, "and she just blew up."
The ensuing dustup led to an angry sweetheart behind a locked door and the abashed author trying to make amends. "I felt really bad about what I said," he remarked, "working in this industry, I sometimes forget how disaffected I can be." With Valentine's Day just around the corner, a novel approach to mollify his disgruntled paramour occurred to him. "I was trying to convince her I wasn't a troll, but she wasn't having it." he said "So, I asked her 'what do you want me to do? Give to the Heart Association or something?' and I heard her giggle."
While the row was settled for the moment, the idea still stuck with Mr. White. "I thought, why shouldn't I?" he said, "Heart disease runs in my family and while I might not like to dwell on it, it's still scary stuff." The research and advances the American Heart Association have made weren't lost on him either. "If my great grandfather had known what they know now, he probably would have lived another 20 years." He went on to say, "who knows what great things could be right around the corner. I want to do something to help."
To accomplish his task, through the end of February, D.L. White is going to donate 20 percent of the proceeds from the sale of his new book "Acting in the Real World: The Film Professional's Guidebook to the Job of Acting" to the American Heart Association. "It may not be selling like 'Harry Potter'," he quipped, "but every little bit helps."D.L. White will be appearing at various acting schools throughout the Los Angeles area to promote his new book, which is available online at: www.actorsconcentration.com Press inquiries and requests for copies of the book may be directed by email.
###
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Boxing and Acting?
Dunno...I saw this and thought it was kind of interesting. Let me know what you guys think...
D-
Success Tips From Boxing:
Ray Winstone, the London East End barrow boy, who became an actor famous for acting hard men, did some boxing when he was younger. He learned a key lesson from boxing which helped him in the acting world and which could help any of us in any situation.
"You would go into your corner and look at the man in the corner opposite you and you would say 'I can beat him' or look at another man and say 'I can't beat him.'"
Boxing taught you to learn to beat the man you thought you couldn't beat. Ray had about 88 fights and lost only 8 of them.
When faced with the challenge of acting the role of Henry VIII, Ray, at first, thought he could not act the part but then drew on his boxing experience and achieved what had seemed impossible to him.
I was not too convinced by his acting in this part but a lot of people were. He certainly portrayed the thuggish side of King Henry convincingly!
Another lesson from boxing is the way champion boxers keep punching even when their opponent seems completely untroubled by their best punches.
On Friday March 4th 2005, I watched Clinton Woods fight Rico Hoye for the IBF light heavy weight championship of the world. The fight took place at the Magna Centre in Rotherham, South Yorkshire.
Clinton landed one great punch after another but Rico Hoye seemed totally undisturbed by the powerful punches. He also landed a few good ones of his own.
Clinton kept patient and did not rush in to try to finish the fight too quickly. He knew that impatience could lead to disaster. If you charge in regardless you are likely to leave yourself open to a killer punch.
Round after round passed and the fight seemed totally even. Then suddenly, half way through the fight, the effect of Woods' punches manifested itself.
Hoye started moving slowly and staggering round the ring although he still kept up a brave attempt to defend himself. The referee stopped the fight and Clinton Woods, after four attempts, was now a world champion.
Clinton was 32 years old at the time of this fight and knew that it might be his last shot at the title. He was not the bookies' favorite but ignored his critics and trained harder than he ever had for a fight.
Boxing teaches that, if you keep on working hard and keep on fighting even if it seems you are getting nowhere, you can beat the man you thought you would never beat.
If you do the same thing in ordinary life you will achieve 'impossible' goals that have eluded you for years. You will know the same ecstasy that Woods felt after long years of struggle to become champion of the world.
About the author
John Watson is an award winning teacher and martial arts instructor. He has recently written two books about achieving your goals and dreams. They can both be found on his website http://www.motivationtoday.com along with a daily motivational message.
The title of the first book is "36 Laws To Ignite Your Inner Power And Realize Your Dreams Now! - Acronyms, Stories, And Pictures...Easy To Remember And Use Everyday To Grab Your Life And Soar With The Eagles"
The book can be found at this URL http://www.motivationtoday.com/36_laws.php
The book uses acronyms, stories and pictures to help readers remember 36 laws that can gradually transform your life if you apply them.
You are welcome to publish the article above in your ezine or on your website so long as you do not alter it and keep in the words about the author and the 36 Laws.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_Watson
D-
Success Tips From Boxing:
Ray Winstone, the London East End barrow boy, who became an actor famous for acting hard men, did some boxing when he was younger. He learned a key lesson from boxing which helped him in the acting world and which could help any of us in any situation.
"You would go into your corner and look at the man in the corner opposite you and you would say 'I can beat him' or look at another man and say 'I can't beat him.'"
Boxing taught you to learn to beat the man you thought you couldn't beat. Ray had about 88 fights and lost only 8 of them.
When faced with the challenge of acting the role of Henry VIII, Ray, at first, thought he could not act the part but then drew on his boxing experience and achieved what had seemed impossible to him.
I was not too convinced by his acting in this part but a lot of people were. He certainly portrayed the thuggish side of King Henry convincingly!
Another lesson from boxing is the way champion boxers keep punching even when their opponent seems completely untroubled by their best punches.
On Friday March 4th 2005, I watched Clinton Woods fight Rico Hoye for the IBF light heavy weight championship of the world. The fight took place at the Magna Centre in Rotherham, South Yorkshire.
Clinton landed one great punch after another but Rico Hoye seemed totally undisturbed by the powerful punches. He also landed a few good ones of his own.
Clinton kept patient and did not rush in to try to finish the fight too quickly. He knew that impatience could lead to disaster. If you charge in regardless you are likely to leave yourself open to a killer punch.
Round after round passed and the fight seemed totally even. Then suddenly, half way through the fight, the effect of Woods' punches manifested itself.
Hoye started moving slowly and staggering round the ring although he still kept up a brave attempt to defend himself. The referee stopped the fight and Clinton Woods, after four attempts, was now a world champion.
Clinton was 32 years old at the time of this fight and knew that it might be his last shot at the title. He was not the bookies' favorite but ignored his critics and trained harder than he ever had for a fight.
Boxing teaches that, if you keep on working hard and keep on fighting even if it seems you are getting nowhere, you can beat the man you thought you would never beat.
If you do the same thing in ordinary life you will achieve 'impossible' goals that have eluded you for years. You will know the same ecstasy that Woods felt after long years of struggle to become champion of the world.
About the author
John Watson is an award winning teacher and martial arts instructor. He has recently written two books about achieving your goals and dreams. They can both be found on his website http://www.motivationtoday.com along with a daily motivational message.
The title of the first book is "36 Laws To Ignite Your Inner Power And Realize Your Dreams Now! - Acronyms, Stories, And Pictures...Easy To Remember And Use Everyday To Grab Your Life And Soar With The Eagles"
The book can be found at this URL http://www.motivationtoday.com/36_laws.php
The book uses acronyms, stories and pictures to help readers remember 36 laws that can gradually transform your life if you apply them.
You are welcome to publish the article above in your ezine or on your website so long as you do not alter it and keep in the words about the author and the 36 Laws.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_Watson
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Solid Article For Actors On Cold Reading
I stumbled across this acting article on the web and it's really excellent! As I point out in my Acting Book...ahem...Cold Reading is REALLY difficult. Check out the article below, the author hits it right on the head.
D-
In this article we're going to discuss the very difficult art of cold reading a script you have never seen for a part. Not as easy as you think.
In regular theater an actor may prepare a monologue that he has spent many hours memorizing, for a part that he will also perform at every audition. He's spent a lot of time on this and has perfected his art and delivery. When going for an audition he is quite comfortable with his prepared lines. However, in a film or commercial audition the actor is expected to perform a script given to him that he has never seen before. This is when the art of cold reading is very important and can be a life saver.
The technical definition of cold reading is the auditioning for a part with a script in hand, one the actor has never seen. The profession says that the actor is supposed to be given the script at least 24 hours before the audition but all too often this just doesn't happen. This is why cold reading is so important to actors who work in film or commercials.
So, how do you learn to cold read? Brute force. Pick up a script, read the first line, commit it to memory and then say the line without looking at the script. You've just done your first cold reading. At first you may only be able to memorize a few words at a time, but with a little practice you'll soon be memorizing several lines at a time. Being an actor is kind of like being an athlete. The more you work at it the better you'll get. After you feel comfortable doing cold reading by yourself try it with another actor. This is when it gets fun.
When you're at your audition it's very tempting to try to sneak a peak at your next line while the other actor is doing his lines. Don't do this. How you listen to your fellow actor is just as important as speaking your lines. Wait until it's time for you to respond and then look at your next line. Memorize as much of your line as you can in a few seconds. Then make eye contact with your partner and say your next line.
If you've got more to memorize than you can with just a glance, repeat the process until you have the line memorized. But keep your face out of your script. Never read your lines while looking at your script. This is a sure way to blow the audition. Make sure you stay in character while reading your lines.
When you're actually at your audition even if you don't get the script until you get there, try to read the script in its entirety at once and remember as much of it as you can. This way you'll at least have some idea what the scene is about, who the characters are and how the conversation should go. If you have more time try to memorize the first and last lines. This will give you a strong start and finish, which is what the person auditioning you will remember the most.
When holding your script, hold with your left hand if right handed and at chest level. Never have your head buried in the script. Don't wave the script around like it is a prop. Make believe it is just a natural extension of your body.
The less attention you draw to the script itself the better.
A cold reading goes much slower and feels a lot more awkward than a normal reading. This is normal and there is no need to worry about it. The casting director knows this is the first time you've seen the script. He is more interested in what kind of personality you have as the character.
Sadly, you may be the greatest actor in the world, but without being able to cold read well you aren't going to get many parts as you'll never get past the first audition. So include cold reading in your training. You'll find you'll get more parts because of it.
Michael RussellYour Independent guide to Acting
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Russell
D-
In this article we're going to discuss the very difficult art of cold reading a script you have never seen for a part. Not as easy as you think.
In regular theater an actor may prepare a monologue that he has spent many hours memorizing, for a part that he will also perform at every audition. He's spent a lot of time on this and has perfected his art and delivery. When going for an audition he is quite comfortable with his prepared lines. However, in a film or commercial audition the actor is expected to perform a script given to him that he has never seen before. This is when the art of cold reading is very important and can be a life saver.
The technical definition of cold reading is the auditioning for a part with a script in hand, one the actor has never seen. The profession says that the actor is supposed to be given the script at least 24 hours before the audition but all too often this just doesn't happen. This is why cold reading is so important to actors who work in film or commercials.
So, how do you learn to cold read? Brute force. Pick up a script, read the first line, commit it to memory and then say the line without looking at the script. You've just done your first cold reading. At first you may only be able to memorize a few words at a time, but with a little practice you'll soon be memorizing several lines at a time. Being an actor is kind of like being an athlete. The more you work at it the better you'll get. After you feel comfortable doing cold reading by yourself try it with another actor. This is when it gets fun.
When you're at your audition it's very tempting to try to sneak a peak at your next line while the other actor is doing his lines. Don't do this. How you listen to your fellow actor is just as important as speaking your lines. Wait until it's time for you to respond and then look at your next line. Memorize as much of your line as you can in a few seconds. Then make eye contact with your partner and say your next line.
If you've got more to memorize than you can with just a glance, repeat the process until you have the line memorized. But keep your face out of your script. Never read your lines while looking at your script. This is a sure way to blow the audition. Make sure you stay in character while reading your lines.
When you're actually at your audition even if you don't get the script until you get there, try to read the script in its entirety at once and remember as much of it as you can. This way you'll at least have some idea what the scene is about, who the characters are and how the conversation should go. If you have more time try to memorize the first and last lines. This will give you a strong start and finish, which is what the person auditioning you will remember the most.
When holding your script, hold with your left hand if right handed and at chest level. Never have your head buried in the script. Don't wave the script around like it is a prop. Make believe it is just a natural extension of your body.
The less attention you draw to the script itself the better.
A cold reading goes much slower and feels a lot more awkward than a normal reading. This is normal and there is no need to worry about it. The casting director knows this is the first time you've seen the script. He is more interested in what kind of personality you have as the character.
Sadly, you may be the greatest actor in the world, but without being able to cold read well you aren't going to get many parts as you'll never get past the first audition. So include cold reading in your training. You'll find you'll get more parts because of it.
Michael RussellYour Independent guide to Acting
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Russell
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Great Acting School In Los Angeles
People often ask me the details of the Acting School I attended, so I'm going to tell you a little about it. The Sanford Meisner Center in North Hollywood was founded by Sandy himself back in the 90's. It's a decent sized space with seating for up to 75 and a generous (by some standards) stage that has been graced by some of the best actors in the industry.
While I think the training in technique is excellent, the school really shines in it's relentless push for professionalism. Director Martin Barter isn't a Nazi or anything, he just treats you like a pro...and kicks your ass if you won't BE one. This is not a complaint, it's the highest praise I can think of. People really underestimate what it's going to take to 'make it' as an actor in Los Angeles and a lot of 'acting schools' will cater to ego, or are founded on it.
Marty's great in that regard, quiet, (unless he's mad...) unassuming and passionate about the craft, he's a pretty cool cat. No 'guru' attitudes and he's not AFRAID to ACT! He'll actually get up and show you how it's done on stage, which is remarkable to me in the fact that I've seen so many 'acting teachers' that can't walk it like they talk it. Not here!
At any rate, if you want a quality acting education, you really can't go wrong here. Whether you're a new hopeful or a seasoned vet, you will learn more than you ever thought, I guarantee it.
Check them out here at www.themeisnercenter.com
While I think the training in technique is excellent, the school really shines in it's relentless push for professionalism. Director Martin Barter isn't a Nazi or anything, he just treats you like a pro...and kicks your ass if you won't BE one. This is not a complaint, it's the highest praise I can think of. People really underestimate what it's going to take to 'make it' as an actor in Los Angeles and a lot of 'acting schools' will cater to ego, or are founded on it.
Marty's great in that regard, quiet, (unless he's mad...) unassuming and passionate about the craft, he's a pretty cool cat. No 'guru' attitudes and he's not AFRAID to ACT! He'll actually get up and show you how it's done on stage, which is remarkable to me in the fact that I've seen so many 'acting teachers' that can't walk it like they talk it. Not here!
At any rate, if you want a quality acting education, you really can't go wrong here. Whether you're a new hopeful or a seasoned vet, you will learn more than you ever thought, I guarantee it.
Check them out here at www.themeisnercenter.com
Friday, January 19, 2007
When Hosts Go Bad...Hosting Is Acting Too, Right?
Okie...a friend sent this to me. It makes my teeth hurt, in a funny, ashamed, sort of 'ah crap, I'd probably do that too' fashion.
Anway, the host of this Dutch show is interviewing a man who's testicles were accidentally removed during an operation.
Whoo Boy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH0awSk7i8Q
It's bad, I know...meh.
Anway, the host of this Dutch show is interviewing a man who's testicles were accidentally removed during an operation.
Whoo Boy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH0awSk7i8Q
It's bad, I know...meh.
Hey Actor Types!
Ahh...that rant down there actually felt good. I'm tickled pink...
While I'm at it, I'm going to plug my book. If you are an aspiring actor, you should read it.
It's good.
Ok, so ad copy isn't my strong suit, but knowing what an actor has to do on set is! Look, I know that trying to 'make it' in Hollywood as an actor is trying at best. I know from watching many of my friends struggle around town that it's a frustrating experience trying to sort through everything.
But, far too often I watch them get caught up in stuff like their headshots or trying to find and agent and all the while they don't even have a clue as to what the JOB is all about! It's understandable, because there isn't anyway to learn the job without doing it! So, they all toil away at things that feel like they're doing something, but in reality they're just spinning their wheels.
Me personally, I find it a bit depressing...
So, I wrote a book. If you want to know what the job of the professional actor is really all about, check it out. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.
Anyway, enough of that crap...I'ma go make a sandwich.
While I'm at it, I'm going to plug my book. If you are an aspiring actor, you should read it.
It's good.
Ok, so ad copy isn't my strong suit, but knowing what an actor has to do on set is! Look, I know that trying to 'make it' in Hollywood as an actor is trying at best. I know from watching many of my friends struggle around town that it's a frustrating experience trying to sort through everything.
But, far too often I watch them get caught up in stuff like their headshots or trying to find and agent and all the while they don't even have a clue as to what the JOB is all about! It's understandable, because there isn't anyway to learn the job without doing it! So, they all toil away at things that feel like they're doing something, but in reality they're just spinning their wheels.
Me personally, I find it a bit depressing...
So, I wrote a book. If you want to know what the job of the professional actor is really all about, check it out. I guarantee you won't be disappointed.
Anyway, enough of that crap...I'ma go make a sandwich.
Feature Film?
Hmm...what's the best way to start my blog?
I know, I'll rant! So...
If I hear one more person arrogantly inform me that they're shooting a 'Feature Film' and then tell me they're shooting on 'Digital' or 'HD' I'm gonna barf...on whoever's nattering at me about their 'Feature'.
Ahem...begging your pardon mister wannabe fuckstick...a 'Feature Film' is not a conceptual term.
It's a definable term.
Allow me to define it for you...The 'Feature' part refers to being 'featured' in a MOVIE THEATER as the MARQUIS ATTRACTION. You know...to separate it from the newsreel footage and cartoons and little short subject shit that they used to show before the 'Feature' ran back in the day. It also served to further separate it from the crap B and C movies of the time, but hey, if you have a crap B or C movie playing at the local mega-plex, I'll grant ya' that one.
The 'Film' part refers to being on FILM, which despite the seemingly ubiquitous 'digital revolution' (if you're thinking of quoting some silly shit off some silly DV forum somewhere) 99.9% of 'Feature Films' in the WORLD are projected from FILM. Now, if you have a digitally acquired piece of shit B or C movie that has been blown up to film and is being distributed and shown in theaters nationwide (hell, even in limited release) I'll give ya' the 'Feature Film' title.
Otherwise, shut the fuck up. Pretty please. With sugar on top.
If you don't meet the aforementioned requirements, you have a 'FEATURE LENGTH VIDEO'.
Period.
Accept it. Deal with it.
And then shut the fuck up.
I don't care if you graduated from USC or UCLA or NYU's Tisch School, hell I don't even care if you graduated from high school. I don't care if you read 'Rebel without a Crew' six thousand times and masturbate to it daily. I don't care if 'EVERYONE' says it's a feature.
It ain't.
'EVERYONE' is wrong.
Here's a task for those of you who wish to argue the point...Do this first and I'll listen to you:
1-Write something interesting, or get the rights to something interesting.
2-Cast it.
3-Location scout it.
4-Budget it.
5-Acquire funding for it.
6-Get the proper permits for your shooting activity.
7-Get insurance.
8-Get the necessary Union (SAG, IATSE, DGA...whichever you NEED) contracts in place.
9-Storyboard the picture.
10-Put your shot list together.
11-Do your final budget.
12-Staff it.
13-Rehearse it.
14-Shoot it. And by shooting it, I mean with proper coverage, protection and no continuity or screen direction violations, proper lighting and all that fun stuff.
15-Edit it.
16-Put your re-shoot and/or pick up shot list together.
17-Schedule your re-shoots and pick ups.
18-Get the proper permits for your shooting activity.
19-Get insurance.
20-Shoot your re-shoots and pick ups.
21-Add your necessary special effects.
22-Do your final color grading.
23-Title the picture.
24-Create or acquire rights to your music stems.
25-Create your foley and ADR list.
26-Create your foley and ADR.
27-Assemble your soundtrack.
28-Marry it to the picture element.
29-Create your textless backgrounds.
30-Transfer it to a projectable and/or distributable format (Film or D5 or better).
31-Assemble your electronic press kit.
32-Send me a copy of your epk.
33-Have a premiere in a paying theater.
34-Invite me to it.
35-Buy me some popcorn.
Then we can talk....Maybe.
You want to cement the deal, go back to step 4 and insert 'acquire distribution'.
The whole process should take from six months to three or four years depending on how good you are at fund raising. Ez pz, lemon squeezy. Otherwise, you're a wanker that I want to barf on. Get it? Probably not...Still here wanker? Don't you have a wedding or a birthday party to 'tape'? That'll be a nice use for your $5000.00 super wang doodle HDV piece of junk camera. Ooh, maybe you can even cut it in Final Cut Pro. Hey, make it 90 minutes long and you can run around telling drunk chicks in the bar that you just finished another 'feature'.
Maybe you'll get a blowjob out of it.
I know, I'll rant! So...
If I hear one more person arrogantly inform me that they're shooting a 'Feature Film' and then tell me they're shooting on 'Digital' or 'HD' I'm gonna barf...on whoever's nattering at me about their 'Feature'.
Ahem...begging your pardon mister wannabe fuckstick...a 'Feature Film' is not a conceptual term.
It's a definable term.
Allow me to define it for you...The 'Feature' part refers to being 'featured' in a MOVIE THEATER as the MARQUIS ATTRACTION. You know...to separate it from the newsreel footage and cartoons and little short subject shit that they used to show before the 'Feature' ran back in the day. It also served to further separate it from the crap B and C movies of the time, but hey, if you have a crap B or C movie playing at the local mega-plex, I'll grant ya' that one.
The 'Film' part refers to being on FILM, which despite the seemingly ubiquitous 'digital revolution' (if you're thinking of quoting some silly shit off some silly DV forum somewhere) 99.9% of 'Feature Films' in the WORLD are projected from FILM. Now, if you have a digitally acquired piece of shit B or C movie that has been blown up to film and is being distributed and shown in theaters nationwide (hell, even in limited release) I'll give ya' the 'Feature Film' title.
Otherwise, shut the fuck up. Pretty please. With sugar on top.
If you don't meet the aforementioned requirements, you have a 'FEATURE LENGTH VIDEO'.
Period.
Accept it. Deal with it.
And then shut the fuck up.
I don't care if you graduated from USC or UCLA or NYU's Tisch School, hell I don't even care if you graduated from high school. I don't care if you read 'Rebel without a Crew' six thousand times and masturbate to it daily. I don't care if 'EVERYONE' says it's a feature.
It ain't.
'EVERYONE' is wrong.
Here's a task for those of you who wish to argue the point...Do this first and I'll listen to you:
1-Write something interesting, or get the rights to something interesting.
2-Cast it.
3-Location scout it.
4-Budget it.
5-Acquire funding for it.
6-Get the proper permits for your shooting activity.
7-Get insurance.
8-Get the necessary Union (SAG, IATSE, DGA...whichever you NEED) contracts in place.
9-Storyboard the picture.
10-Put your shot list together.
11-Do your final budget.
12-Staff it.
13-Rehearse it.
14-Shoot it. And by shooting it, I mean with proper coverage, protection and no continuity or screen direction violations, proper lighting and all that fun stuff.
15-Edit it.
16-Put your re-shoot and/or pick up shot list together.
17-Schedule your re-shoots and pick ups.
18-Get the proper permits for your shooting activity.
19-Get insurance.
20-Shoot your re-shoots and pick ups.
21-Add your necessary special effects.
22-Do your final color grading.
23-Title the picture.
24-Create or acquire rights to your music stems.
25-Create your foley and ADR list.
26-Create your foley and ADR.
27-Assemble your soundtrack.
28-Marry it to the picture element.
29-Create your textless backgrounds.
30-Transfer it to a projectable and/or distributable format (Film or D5 or better).
31-Assemble your electronic press kit.
32-Send me a copy of your epk.
33-Have a premiere in a paying theater.
34-Invite me to it.
35-Buy me some popcorn.
Then we can talk....Maybe.
You want to cement the deal, go back to step 4 and insert 'acquire distribution'.
The whole process should take from six months to three or four years depending on how good you are at fund raising. Ez pz, lemon squeezy. Otherwise, you're a wanker that I want to barf on. Get it? Probably not...Still here wanker? Don't you have a wedding or a birthday party to 'tape'? That'll be a nice use for your $5000.00 super wang doodle HDV piece of junk camera. Ooh, maybe you can even cut it in Final Cut Pro. Hey, make it 90 minutes long and you can run around telling drunk chicks in the bar that you just finished another 'feature'.
Maybe you'll get a blowjob out of it.
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